Notice:The concept of this blog has been expanded to include those who live with others but still occasionally feel lonely. Gripe here...or give us some tips on how you cope creatively.

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

What Do I Like About Living Alone?

Look at my blog photo and you can see the clutter behind me. No one's going to tell me to clean it up. Unless I nag myself, which I do sometimes, but mostly I just shrug and say, "That's me." This photo shows me posing in front of my iMac, which, it turns out, takes pictures like a camera. I do it a lot -- and there's no one here to make fun of me. Of course, now that I'm blogging about it publicly, I'm opening myself up for ridicule, but hopefully you'll be easy on me.

Living alone can be lonely, and the thought of being cooped up here alone in a snowstorm makes me sad, and the thought of getting really sick and having no one around to help scares me. But on the whole, life is good. I started this blog so others can share the pros and cons of living without another person there to share your home life.

I'd love to hear comments.

Loraine

14 comments:

Unknown said...

I am so glad you started this blog, those of us who live alone are so misunderstood! I think society in general looks at us and feels sorry for us, they should know living alone is so liberating and so empowering. when your on your own you are forced into learning to know yourself, you learn to like and accept yourself for who you are. I think it should be mandatory that people live alone for at least a year before they get married, as they will not only grow up they will learn to appreciate themselves so much more, and once you like and appreciate yourself you bring a whole lot more into a relationship!!

Loraine Page said...

Everything you said is so true. I feel that once you can be by yourself -- be really, really on your own -- you can do anything. It's one of the hardest skills to learn but the most useful for facing any adversity life can throw at you. I've been teased by some people that I could probably do solitary confinement in prison with ease! But seriously, it's important to learn how to live without the crutch of other people keeping you company at all times. I see people with their cell phones in stores and they can't even shop without sharing the experience with someone.

Loraine

Unknown said...

Your so correct, I know people who are afraid to be alone, I never understood that, but people are. I think if you don't spend time with your own thoughts you don't really know what you want, or how you feel about life in general. Its wonderful to have a close family and many friends, but its also wonderful to be a friend to yourself, and allow yourself time to nurture and care for yourself.

omnigirl said...

Through out my life I have always needed the space and freedom to create.I had to have at least one room of my own no matter who I was living with.Sacred space is such an important thing .We search all our lives for that special someone.I believe it is natural to desire a mate.Now that I live by myself I enjoy the total freedom of doing whatever my heart and soul says.Peanut butter and Jelly taste good for dinner once in a while.Yes fear and loneliness surface for me a lot.Funny you meantioned the snow storm.I thought the same thing.Wished I had someone here to share it with.Then I looked at my Dog Bodhi and said its you and I kiddo!
And I smiled Today is mine and I can do whatever I please with it.Maybe start a new painting .Eat soup and some of those chocolate cookies I have been avoiding.Oh and make a fire just for me.
MAYBE TO SECRET IS THE TWIN FLAME WE ALL SEARCH FOR IS DEEP WITHIN OUR OWN SOULS!
I do hope to share with someone again,however the freedom I am experiencing is giving me a chance to be all I can be .A journey of self discovery has been opened to me .I am walking through the door! Happy New Year everyone!

Loraine Page said...

I'm going to skip the soup and just eat chocolate pudding for dinner. Thanks for sharing, Omnigirl. I think you're right about how our twin soul is not out there on some dating service but deep within ourselves. I'm getting to know and like my inner soulmate, appreciating her talents and forgiving her flaws.

Fiber Art Barb said...

I have lived alone now for over 6 years after living with my former sweetie over 26 years. I think you need to go through the fire to find the peace and tranquility on the opposing shore. I believe in reincarnation and that time is really a man made construct. One second you are born and thus the pattern continues. On and on . I have to believe there is something greater than the self at work. How does one cope through the experience? I do my art work which is based on the life of the geisha of Japan and the kimonos that they wore and discarded. I continue to put value into the life they led and the things that they experienced . I find hope that the art I create will find a greater meaning for others as well. I guess you can call it coping through being at one with the continuation of life.

Anonymous said...

Well, look who's here! What can I add to the discussion here, not much. I don't live alone, but I do appreciate "alone time" when I get it. You look wonderful Loraine, good to see you are alive and kicking, well, and as always, creating! I was considering becoming a follower of your blog, but I just noticed this post was almost two years ago. LOL! Think I'll zip this comment off anyhow, just to shout HELLO! I wonder if you will even see it.

Adrian said...

I have been off work since September 3rd 2010. Work (teaching 16-18 year olds Law) is my main contact with 'culture' 'social' etc. Since i was about 11 i have been on this path. Now , at 41 , i work part time, earn enough to get by, but not much more. I have romanticised about devoting my life to a buddhist monastery, but i have seen buddhist communities here, and sadly i feel the essence of religion/soul/spirituality (whatever you call it) , is lost in the group hysteria that comes with organised religion. Thus i will live the rest of my life 'alone'. The empowerment you all speak of has only come to me through much much suffering. I agree with you that living alone should be mandatory for people, lol, like army service is in some countries. If i get a response to this post i will happily discourse with other 'hermits''loners' 'visionaries' 'regular people'...words, labels, blah blah....in the end its nothing special - my fingers are tired of typing, the car tyres are making a noise on the road outside.

Loraine Page said...

Hello Adrian, and welcome. I agree that the empowerment gained by living alone arrives only after much suffering. I know that I have my moments (okay, maybe even hours) when I feel I can't bear to be solitary anymore. But the feeling eventually passes, and then I realize that even when I lived with people, there were difficulties. I think all of us here on earth experience equal measures of grief and pleasure in equal measure despite what our circumstances are. I did not choose to live alone but it has transpired due to my nature (I'm not very socially oriented) and to occurrences in my life (widowhood, failed relationships, kids grown and gone, etc.). Thank you for writing and if you have any other thoughts on the subject, I'd love to hear them.

Norton Karp said...

I just want to throw my 2 cents in here. There's a big difference between being alone and being lonely! I lived alone for a very long time but I was only lonely occasionally. I have friends who I can call up in the middle of the night "just to talk" and they understood. They can call me at all hours and I'm there for them too. Being alone is not a bad thing. It gives you the ability to think your own thoughts without distraction. It's almost like a "pure" time, if you get my drift. I like to occasionally write, and as much as I love my wife, it's more difficult when she's here. Writing takes concentration and no distractions. It can take hours but when she comes home, I have to stop. And that's really when the creative juices really start to flow! I know I said this before but I'll say it again (and again and again), I love my wife, but when I write I don't want to be distracted! I just can't write when someone else is with me. And that includes anyone! So being alone makes my writing better.

adrian said...

Hello again :) I agree with Norton, being alone and being lonely are different , though unlike Norton , i don't have friends i can call on in the same way. I have 1 friend , but i see her maybe once a month. I keep fit , do yoga , read , play on Reaktor (music software), amongst other things. At the moment i am off work until August so i do not have the social aspect from work. To be frank though, i find the group hysteria at work really uncomfortable. Of course I am the one that is 'odd' because i am not joining in their hysteria. lol , that makes me sound like a paragon of calm amidst mania. Far from it, i think my actions can make me look significantly more 'wound up' than my colleagues, however this is just the way i express myself. I have always shunned 'groups'. People are much truer and nicer when alone. The same colleague is a different person when speaking 1 to 1 . I think in this respect institutional culture is not removed far enough from chimpanzee life. ...Thank you for creating this blog :D

Loraine Page said...

I agree with both Norton and Adrian that being alone and being lonely are different. I like being alone because it forces me to be who I am. I think it's actually a difficult task to understand who you are and what you are meant to do--and then having the discipline to actually do it within your lifetime. It is so much easier to just latch onto someone else's life and coast on that for a while. Living alone forces you to be just you. A challenge, definitely. But also rewarding. To respond to Norton, yes, writing with no one in the house to distract you is best! And to respond to Adrian, I'm not really the right type of person to work at an office either. I don't "join in" very much. So working at home (as a writer/editor) is probably the wisest choice for me, even if though I don't have enough social contact. Sometimes during long stretches of no people, I can at least say I made contact with the checkout person at the supermarket!

adrian said...

Hi. I just had to 'lol' in empathy with that comment about the supermarket. Since being off these last few months i have been in what you describe as 'long stretches of no people', and the checkout person at the supermarket has often been the only person i see in a stretch of 5 or so days. I envy you , that you can make a living from being a writer /editor, if i could earn enough to pay this mortgage and feed myself working from home, i would do the same. Sadly all i can 'sell' is avante garde music, and photographs. In todays internet, i am just another grain of sand in the desert doing that on the web so i keep such pastimes pure by doing them for the love of it rather than for the 'sale' of it. My trade off was to move from full time work to part time work . lol as i write i am still waiting for confirmation of the part time contract, but it should come i think :D. Once again i have to thank you for creating a blog where i can express myself. The 'alone' life is oft misunderstood and tabood by culture.

adrian solomon said...

This book may interest some :-

"Living alone , creatively" by Stanley Ely
Published 2006
ISBN 13: 9780595387618 ISBN 10: 0595387616

publisher - iuniverse

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